The Telegraph published 30 of Woody Allen's best one liners today, his 80th birthday.
I like these:
'There's an old joke . . . two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life.'
'Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.'
'My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.'
Probably my favourite:
'I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.'
I like these:
'There's an old joke . . . two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life.'
'Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.'
'My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.'
Probably my favourite:
'I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.'
